So as some of you know I have been going through one of the hardest struggles ever. Weight loss, I know welcome to the club Debbie. When I met Logan seven years ago, my body was amazing! I didn't know this until now : ( i'm envious of those people who don't have to work very hard to have that tiny body I yearn for. I have to actually be doing something for my body to lose weight, damn those chubby Mexican genes that got passed down to me. I'm not shooting for weight loss because I want to wear skanky clothes, I'm doing it to feel better when I wake up in the morning and get dressed. So I've been working out for a few months now, not consistently (at first it was) but I go a whole hell of a lot more than I was going in England, only thing is I feel like nothing has changed. I'm trying a weight loss supplement that's supposed to give you energy while suppressing your appetite,only thing is that it does neither for me. So I tried this pre-work out stuff that's supposed to get you pumped before you go to the gym...doesn't work either. So what do I do? I've tried the work out buddy,I've tried going alone and it just seems like my motivation has completely slipped through my fingers. It could be because I get so discouraged if I don't see progress. Logan says he sees a change but compared to his progress I fall way behind. I always hear about people and how fast they have been losing weight and it brings me down. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer but when i'm not seeing it on myself I'm not happy. I know there are other people who have bigger and better problems but I sort of wanted to rant about my meaningless problem for a little while.
How do people do it? I shared with you that I was going back to being a housewife. How do they do it? It's been only two days since I have been home with Ali and although it's fun, by the end of the day I want my time. I want to just sit here and blog without stressing out whether or not she's getting into my make up again or cutting all her new hair ties in half because she thought it would be fun. how do I step back and take a breather without feeling guilty. I think the hardest part for me is trying to have that connection with her without us fighting. These next two weeks are going to be hard when Logan leaves. I'm sure if I could do it before I can do it again. It's just like riding a bike...right?
I just want to get back to school and continue learning. Since I was working I got auto dropped from my science class which is a pre-requisite to Psychology so since I was dropped, I have to fund this class myself. Big deal right? well it wouldn't be such a big deal if someone could just get me registered so I can get back in the class and pass it so I can continue on with all the other classes I need to be taking. It sounds so simple but the process is so frustrating. So I guess I have to sit here and wait until I can re-join the real world of a college student. Wish me luck because I really don't want to fail at any of this.
Dont be so down on yourself Debbie!
ReplyDeleteFirst, know you are beautiful.... I'm a skinny bitch, but lets emphasize the bitch part. I can carry myself in a manner (I do this purposely) to piss off people by throwing my skinny-ness in their face. That makes me an ugly person. So, it has to start on the inside. As far as the motivation, all I can say is what worked for me was, I used to cut out pictures of Victoria's Secret models, paste them all one a piece of paper, and cover the treadmill (the part that tells you how far you've run) and look at that when I felt like giving up. I think it worked because if I didn't know how far I'd gone but how far I wanted to go (as in, looking like those girls with their amazing bodies), I'd end up running WAY more than I thought I could.
I agree that the processes that involve anything to do with school do seem simple but are extremely frustrating! I've been here almost a month and my GI Bill is just now paying for my classes.... I even got dropped for them not being paid, I had to get override forms signed by my teachers, re-register and so on. It was really the suck, but in the end it is so worth it. Consider the time you dedicate to working out and school time for YOU. You deserve it.
Miss ya bunches! Val